One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just want to make out with him forever
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
