After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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