I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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