At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
