I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize