Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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