You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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