I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
