thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i will never coherently bang her
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
