I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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