can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Randomize
