he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
