barbara walters just said penis...
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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