Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
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I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
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i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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