So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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