I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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