He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.