so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
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Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
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If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.