I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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