Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
