Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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