Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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