Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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