My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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