I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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