Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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