My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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