Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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