apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
