can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
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Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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