whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
