Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
