She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
