Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
