i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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