$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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