Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
