She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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