you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
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I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
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I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
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