they need to just BURY HIM!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
