Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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