That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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