Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
