So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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