So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Everclear isn't food dammit
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
