I just cut my nipple shaving
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
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i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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