1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
