After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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