i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
