I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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