Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
