I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
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That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
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I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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