so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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