Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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