any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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