yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
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