I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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