this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize