Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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