mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
