Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
