Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
