someone threw a dead crab at me
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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