Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
