It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
