her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
