last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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