You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
