You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
