his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
