OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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