Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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