I think I can smell my own vagina right now
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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