please come you make the beer taste better
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He shit in the fireplace
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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