i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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