Slut skills are useful in every country.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
